Finding Balance

Thirty year old Marsha Riley has chosen to have it all! The avid hockey player is now the mom of a three year old baby girl named Jess and is also a mentor and business coach in the wellness and health sector. Her business also focuses on a sports line and weight management program.

Marsha got into her field of work by chance. She was first introduced to the business opportunity by a family friend but was not interested. Like most new moms, all energy went into taking care of her daughter. However, a year and a half ago, she decided to take the opportunity more seriously and she began to work on it at nights while her daughter slept. She became so engrossed in the work and was doing so well that last November she became confident enough to go off on her own.

Her schedule encompasses working 20 hours a week mentoring no more than 5 persons and doing group coaching with no more than 10 persons at a time. When she’s not tending to her business, she spends time with her daughter or is engaged in activities at her daughter’s school, e.g. she’s the new PTA president. She attributes her flexible routine to a highlighter system. Pink means time to be spent with her daughter, green means work hours, orange means time spent on activities at Jess’ school and her most recent addition, purple, means time to be spent with friends.

She advises that all career moms should use a highlighter system; she views the key to success as having a routine. Make a plan, set a date, find a picture that motivates you and Go For It! Her personal mantra is: I CAN, I WILL, I WILL NOT BE DENIED.

In her line of business she helps to provide persons seeking a secondary income stream to obtain that opportunity from the comfort of their homes. She has met a lot of moms who felt like her; they didn’t want to sacrifice that time away from their children by working long hours, while understanding that bills have to get paid. So she believes that the best selling product that she can offer to persons interested in her business is choice.

She also believes that pregnant moms should stay active, e.g. walk, dance etc because your bodies will thank you for it later on and don’t plan too much ahead because you never know how much your life will change once you hold your baby.

Marsha notes that having some down time is important. For her, cleaning, cooking and other chores are ways to unwind. She views them as being able to give love. Additionally on the odd occasion that she has absolutely nothing to do, and is not planning her next ‘to do’ list, she’ll sit and watch a romantic comedy.

She has several goals for her future; the first is to be there for her daughter physically, emotionally and financially. She wants to eradicate the word ‘limits’ from her daughter’s vocabulary; her daughter is currently training to be a gymnast at one of the Olympic Games (did we mention she’s three years old!). She wishes to own a ranch in Aripo where she can spend time with her extended family. Additionally, she hopes to write a book that will inspire others to fulfill their dreams, no matter the challenges.

If you would like to find out more information about this amazing Firecracker,  feel free to check out her website, marshariley.flppro.biz or Facebook page Freedom to Live International. She can also be reached via telephone at 1-868-684-1200. She adds “I am always happy to help, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on. God knows how much just having a non-judgmental, non-advice giving ear can help loads.”

If you're a FireCracker mom with a business or your business appeals to FireCracker moms and you would like to be featured on our page feel free to send an email to @firecrackerlife@gmail.com

Add a spark to your life!
Love CT

Feeling bleh

Haven't written anything lately because I really haven't been in the mood. It's just been a couple of days where I've been wishing for this pregnancy to be over. I'm ready to meet my baby and stop being a 'carrier.'
Ready to get my body back too. Sigh. Two and a half months to go still.

I'll be back to writing soon, just give me a minute.


Love, CT

Who do you choose??

So I got my first taste of Braxton Hicks contractions and it was not pleasant. It caught me by surprise and lasted an excruciating two minutes. I was trying to get off my bed to take a bathroom break for the millionth time (sigh) when all of a sudden there was an extreme tightening in the base of my bump/abs. As soon as I moved off the bed and felt that pain I had to sit right back down and wait it out. During this time I started tapping my husband on the shoulder, who was halfway asleep, trying to alert him that something was not right. He woke up and looked at me like I was crazy. I may have been a little crazy, (crazy with pain), but his look annoyed the shit out of me. Here I was in pain and all you could do is look at me that way! I don’t even know what I expected him to do, all I knew it didn’t include looking at me that way. 

Eventually the two minutes passed and it was all over. I proceeded to the bathroom to finally relieve myself and he then asks “Where are you going?” I annoyingly replied “To the bathroom.” When I returned from the bathroom he wasn’t in the room. Shortly following my return to the room, he came up the stairs with a bowl of popcorn and asked me if I wanted some. What the hell did popcorn have to do with a contraction? Is this some medical advice that he got from an old wives tale? I was in no mood to find out.  But the smell of the popcorn and cravings kicking in, I rolled my eyes and took a handful. What was reinforced that night was that while my husband does care about me in his weird way, he does not know how to express his emotions in a way that I’ve grown accustomed to by my family members. His way of being emotionally supportive was not going to cut it during labor. Lol.

Then about two weeks after the first incident, I got my second taste of Braxton Hicks contractions while helping my nephew with his homework. Yes, it was just as excruciating as the first time, occurring for the same two minutes. Although it caught me by surprise this time as well, (because you never know when it’s going to happen), I was a bit more mentally prepared to deal with the pain, and I wasn’t trying to scare my nephew; he’s 10 years old. His response did surprise me. See our dialogue.

Nephew: “Aunty, are you okay?”

Me: “No”

Nephew: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I’m getting a contraction”

Nephew: “Oh Braxton Hicks! Mom told me when you got the first one. Do you want me to rub your tummy for you?”

Me (smiling): “No that’s okay. It’ll go away soon”

Nephew: “Do you want me to go get granny (my mom)?”

Me: “No. Don’t worry her”

Nephew: “Okay. Do you want me to call uncle N?”

Me: “No hon. I’ll be fine, I promise”

Nephew: “You don’t look fine.  Come on; let me rub your tummy. Tummy rubs make belly pain go away”

His reaction when compared to my hubby was a huge difference. He seemed more concerned and involved, but most importantly, he wanted to help in whatever way he could to relieve or lessen my pain.

In the situation with my husband, I didn’t know what I needed, but my nephew gave me a reaction more along the lines of what I was hoping for. That’s the problem with expectations; they’re impossible for others to live up to and they cause unnecessary conflict, especially when the other person doesn’t know what they did wrong or didn’t do. 

So it got me thinking. When I actually go into labor, who do I want in the delivery room?  Initially, I thought that of course my husband is going to be in the room. He got me into this mess; he’s got to be there. Also he needs to share in the experience, probably by cutting the umbilical cord.

However, before we can cut the cord I have to go through the contractions and the pushing out of the baby and I feel like my mom or even the personality of my nephew is better suited to help me get through that phase. Yes, I know kids aren’t allowed in the delivery room, so I would have to go with my mom. I don’t want to scar the kid for life ahahahaha.

The hospital only allows one other person in the room, so who do I choose, my mom or my husband? It would be so much easier if they could both be there. Sigh.  I certainly don’t want to rob my husband of the experience or hurt his feelings because he has been with me EVERY step of the way, but I don’t think his personality is going to miraculously change for the occasion. I have to be real. I feel by choosing my mom it would be a highly selfish move, but I need and want that emotional support from someone close to me during that time, especially because it is my first pregnancy. What do I do??? Has anyone else ever gone through a similar situation/ felt this way?

P.S. I later learned that the popcorn was meant to be comfort food, to try to make me feel better. 

Add a spark to your world!
Love, CT

Delivery preparedness

While it’s important to prepare for the baby’s arrival at home, some time must be spent preparing for the baby’s actual arrival, i.e. birth at the hospital. I’m talking about the things you will need to put in your bag and take with you to the hospital.

There are a couple private hospitals that will give you a guide, instructing what they would like you to bring, but for those of you who may not be delivering at a private institution here’s a guide to help you.

Items needed for you (the mother)

·         2 (open front) night gowns

·         2 dusters

·         6 underwear

·         2 bra

·         1 wash cloth

·         1 bath towel

·         1 comb/brush

·         Toothpaste & toothbrush

·         Bathing soap

·         1 pack of Maternity pads

·         Non skid slippers

·         Plastic for used clothing

Items needed for the baby

·         2 sleeveless vests

·         2 vests with sleeves

·         2 one zees (all in ones)

·         Baby hairbrush

·         1 pack of disposable diapers

·         1 pack of wet wipes

·         2 pairs of booties/socks (For me the socks are better!)

·         2 blankets

·         1 towel

·         1 bonnet/hat

·         1 wash cloth

·         I jar unscented Vaseline

·         Baby lotion

·         Baby bath soap

·         Baby hair shampoo

Depending on how quickly you get discharged after your delivery, you may not get to use all of these products, but I still suggest you get them as you will need them as soon as you get home. View these items as your baby starter kit.

Do you believe?

From the moment a woman finds out that she is pregnant, everything begins to revolve around the baby; particularly trying to ensure that the baby is born healthy. She begins to take vitamins, eat healthily, exercise, schedule regular doctor or clinic appointments etc. But some women who believe in ole wives tales or rituals go the extra mile to protect their children.

My mother in law strongly believes that a woman should not wear black tops or dresses, the less black the better for the baby. I personally have unconsciously stopped myself from watching shows like Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds or any other show that deals with psychopaths and the abuse of children. My mom believes that of you don’t give a pregnant woman what she’s craving it will be bad luck for the person she asked.

Most if not all of these rituals are not factual/ don’t actually occur. Here are some other rituals that my friends shared with me:

·         Don’t take baths in the tub; the dirty water will affect your baby

·         If you don’t play music your baby will be born deaf

·         If you eat too much cheese or dairy your baby will be born with cradle cap

·         If you have heartburn  during pregnancy your baby will be hairy

·         If you watch a lunar eclipse during your pregnancy you will have a cleft lip

What are some of the ole wives tales that you and your family share/believe about pregnancy? Do you follow them?

Key investments

No matter what age you decide to have children, they are expensive as hell! Therefore when purchasing items for them you want to get the best bang for your buck. Among other things, there are three big ticket items that you’re going to have to purchase for your newborn/infant. So how do you decide which to buy? Here’s my 2 cents

·         The Convertible crib

This crib is a great invest piece because it will last you into your child’s teenage years. Its multipurpose design allows it to go from crib to daybed  to desk.  All you do is move around the railings.

·         The Play pen

The playpen is initially used as a bassinet and changing station, then as your child grows you take out the padding for the bassinet and you’re left with the pen and plenty of room for baby to play inside.

·         The Car Seat & Stroller

This one is tricky because it’s entirely based on what you can handle.

Nowadays they sell the travel systems with the car seat that can be mounted into the stroller. This is convenient because the interlocking feature allows you to transport baby from car seat to stroller without taking the child out of the car seat. However, this type of car seat only lasts until your baby is two; then you have to go buy the bigger car seat. 

Now if you buy the regular car seat (the type that doesn’t fit into the stroller) this will last you from newborn to age four. Therefore giving you more usage, but you will have to take your baby out of the car seat to get them into the stroller. 

 

The prices for either type of car seat are similar. There is no wrong or right choice with this; it’s just a matter of what you’re willing to go through with your baby i.e. what’s more convenient for you.

My preferred brand of choice when shopping for these items is Graco; simply because this company is a highly reputable brand that offers such a wide selection of products. Additionally, their prices are reasonable when compared to the other brands and they offer matching sets.